


A Sticky Situation

by angelofthequeers



Series: ML oneshots [11]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Black Cat Kagami, F/F, F/M, Humor, Identity Reveal, Multi, Polyamory, Romance, damsel in distress adrien, defeating lila with the power of bad jokes, i love them to bits, puns galore, they're all idiots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-05
Updated: 2020-10-05
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:07:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26828602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelofthequeers/pseuds/angelofthequeers
Summary: Punning is taken very seriously in the land of Ladybug, Fukō, and Adridamsel in distress. Purrhaps a little too seriously...For the Kagami Tsurugi zine!
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Kagami Tsurugi, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug/Kagami Tsurugi, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug/Kagami Tsurugi
Series: ML oneshots [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1361839
Comments: 17
Kudos: 198





	A Sticky Situation

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don’t own ML.
> 
> My piece for the Kagami zine, which you can find [right here](https://kagamizine.tumblr.com/post/631073246951948288/after-months-of-work-the-zine-is-finally-here-i)! Please go and give all the contributors heaps of love for all the work they’ve put into it!

“Are you serious? Again?” Ladybug complains. Fukō makes do with a tight-lipped smile and leaps to the next rooftop after her partner, towards the massive spider queen akuma called Aracnide, aka Lila Rossi’s newest akuma form.

“If you’re complaining about Lila being akumatised, I hardly think that’s a surprise by now.”

“Oh, of course it’s not. And neither’s the thing I was actually annoyed about.”

Fukō follows Ladybug’s gaze and lets out a groan of her own. Sure enough, dangling next to Aracnide on the Eiffel Tower is Adrien Agreste, looking rather bored now during his nth akumanapping, especially by Lila. Sure, he’s got a rather astounding lack of self-preservation that could rival the Ladyblogger Alya’s on a normal day, but Lila always seems to target him whenever she’s akumatised. And right now, Ladybug’s leading the overall akumanapping rescue charge nine to eight, and Fukō does not intend to lose this competition, no matter how much she loves her partner.

“That makes it, what, ten to me?” Ladybug says, twirling her yo-yo around her fingers as she and Fukō pause on a rooftop to plan out their next move. Fukō snorts.

“I intend to tie this up,” she says. “Pun fully intended.”

Ladybug rolls her eyes. “Let’s just get this under wraps,” she says. “Or I’ll be late for my date _again_. I’m surprised they’re not suspicious yet that I keep disappearing whenever there’s an akuma attack.”

It’s at times like this that Fukō can’t tell whether Ladybug is using “they” as a neutral or as a plural pronoun. Maybe it’s just her wishful thinking, what with her also having a plural relationship. With a date that she’s also running late for. Damn Lila Rossi for kidnapping hers and Marinette’s boyfriend _again_.

“Ooh, can I do the smart remark this time?” Ladybug says, bouncing on the balls of her feet. “You got to do it last time!”

“Fine,” Fukō says. “But only because I want to get this done quickly.”

Beaming, Ladybug swings until she’s on the closest rooftop to the Tower, then rests her hands on her hips. “Your web of lies ends today, Lila!” she announces as Fukō lands next to her. Fukō raises an eyebrow.

“ _That’s_ what you wanted quipping rights for?” she says.

“What?” Ladybug grins. “It was too good to pass up.”

“Ladybug! Fukō!” A wide, twisted smile splits Aracnide’s face in half. Literally. Her mouth is taking up half her face. “You’ve finally arrived to save your damsel in distress!”

Adrien’s face is a strange mix of swallowing nails at being called the damsel in distress and beaming radiance that he’s essentially become the male equivalent of Roxanne Ritchi and is pretty much a key part of akuma attacks these days. Fukō dreads the day that Alya decides to turn akumanapping into a competition, because at least all _her_ kidnappings have just been “wrong place at the wrong time”.

“And it’s hard to come up with puns on the spot!” Ladybug says as though Aracnide hadn’t spoken. “Like, you have to balance overused with quick and snappish.”

“You just need to practice weaving those factors together,” Fukō says. Ladybug’s pretty smile lights up the air around them, and Fukō once again wonders if she can convince her partner to join their polycule, and not just for her. She’s seen Adrien’s “secret” Ladybug shrine, after all.

“Yeah, you’ll get the right words to stick together eventually!” Adrien says with a toothy grin. Fukō prays that her warm face isn’t visibly flushed; she’d have an interesting time explaining _that_ one.

“Uh, hello?” Aracnide snaps and stomps one of her spider feet. “Akuma attack here!”

“Or maybe you could find some more on the web,” Adrien continues, ignoring Aracnide completely. To be fair, after like five akumatisations, Lila’s more on the level of Mr Ramier being akumatised into Mr Pigeon at the slightest provocation, now that the novelty’s worn off. “Mari and Kagami and I could hang out and help you.”

Fukō’s torn between rolling her eyes at the low-hanging fruit of, well, hanging, and smiling goofily at how Adrien’s thinking of her even when being held hostage by an angry akuma.

“Stop it!” Aracnide shrieks. “Give me your Miraculouses!”

“That’s very thoughtful of you,” Ladybug says, her cheeks pink for some reason. “You all look adorably close whenever I see you. I hope I’ll be invited to the webbing.”

Blood rushes to Fukō’s cheeks. But before she can come up with another pun of her own, Aracnide screams and dives at her and Ladybug, shooting thick strands of webbing out of…well, Fukō doesn’t want to examine the implications of where that webbing’s coming from. Hawkmoth is a sick, sick man.

“Lucky Charm!” Ladybug catches a large bottle of what looks like cooking oil. Between her two years of experience as a superhero and their many previous encounters with Lila, it takes almost no time for Ladybug to decide that dumping the entire bottle of oil over Fukō and slathering her up is the way to go. Fukō’s not sure whether she wants to marry this girl alongside Marinette and Adrien or push her off the Eiffel Tower.

“Ha!” Aracnide lands in front of Fukō, who bats away the first lot of webbing easily. But then Aracnide switches her focus, and the next glob of web shoots Fukō’s staff out of her hands and sends it clattering far enough away that there’s no way she’ll get to it before Aracnide can catch her. “Your time’s up, pussy cat!”

Fukō braces herself against the next round of webbing, which knocks her off her feet and congeals in a sticky mess all over her body. But, unlike everything else Aracnide has webbed, Fukō doesn’t stay down. With a small, “Huh,” Fukō easily slips out of the webbing, which is utterly useless at holding down her slippery body, and Aracnide hisses at the sight.

“Fine! I’ll just kill you my –”

Ladybug smacking Aracnide around the head with her yo-yo shuts the spider akuma up rather effectively. While Ladybug keeps Aracnide occupied, Fukō springs up the massive web on the Eiffel Tower to free Adrien, the thick white strands just as useless at immobilising her as the glob that Aracnide had hit her with.

“You’ve really got a way of slipping out of sticky situations,” Adrien says once Fukō has Cataclysmed his bonds and has slung him over her shoulder, not trusting her oily arms to keep a proper grip on him. Fukō rolls her eyes and wonders why she loves this boy.

“And you have an extraordinary talent of getting yourself _in_ these situations,” she says.

“What?” Adrien whines. “It’s not _my_ fault they target me. Especially Lila. I don’t know why she thinks kidnapping me over and over will make me fall in love with her. I think she’s reached the end of her tether.”

“If you ever fall in love with someone like that, I’ll tie you back up here myself,” Fukō mutters, choosing to ignore the pun in that complaint. She lands nimbly on the ground and drops Adrien on his feet, just in time to hear Ladybug cry, “Miraculous Ladybug!” and send a healing swarm of ladybugs around to fix all the damage caused by Aracnide. Fukō thanks every deity above when the glistening, slippery liquid coating her vanishes with the ladybug swarm. Next time she and Ladybug meet, she’s going to have _very_ strong words for her partner, even if this had been one of their easiest akuma battles to date. Then again, battling the same person probably does get easier by the fourth time or so.

“Can you get back to wherever you were by yourself?” Ladybug says once she’s landed next to them. Fukō wonders why Ladybug’s not offering Adrien a lift but, well, then she’d have to reveal her own reasons for not being able to deliver him back at the café where she’s meeting him and Marinette, so she’s just not going to say anything.

“Yeah,” Adrien says a little breathlessly. Fukō can’t really be jealous of his reaction to Ladybug; not when she knows how loving and loyal he is to her and Marinette, and not when she also kind of wants to make out with Ladybug. “Just a few streets away.” His eyes widen. “Marinette! Kagami! They’re going to _kill_ me for getting kidnapped again!”

“Well, at least he’s got some self-awareness to go with that pretty face,” Ladybug says once Adrien’s rounded the corner. Fukō snorts.

“Indeed. Well…” She holds out her fist for their usual post-battle pound it, after which Ladybug takes a running leap and swings away over the rooftops. Fukō watches her for just a moment, then kicks herself into gear to get into the nearest alley before her transformation times out.

“Claws in,” she murmurs once she’s safely hidden from any prying eyes, and in a flash of green light, Fukō and her black and green suit are replaced with Kagami and her collared red dress. Plagg tumbles out of the ring and lands on her shoulder, yowling for Camembert as he always does after a battle well-fought.

“I’m dying! Wasting away to nothing! Give Tikki my farewell!”

Kagami rolls her eyes and stuffs Plagg into her fencing slash personal bag, where there’s always a hidden store of cheese for him, providing he doesn’t eat it all like the gluttonous little cat god he is. Once Plagg’s happily munching away, Kagami peeks out of the alleyway to make sure that no one’s around, then darts out and takes off for the café, hoping that if she can’t beat Adrien back then she can at least get there fast enough for him to not bombard her with questions as to her whereabouts.

No such luck. Not only is Adrien waiting at their usual table but so is Marinette, looking incredibly flustered but still radiant with her loose black hair and rumpled pink blouse and white skirt. How close had she been to Aracnide? Hopefully not too close, or Kagami will have to lecture her girlfriend about not ending up like Adrien with his utter lack of self-preservation.

“Kagami!” Marinette tackles Kagami in a tight hug once Kagami’s reached their table. “I got back here and then Adrien came and neither of us knew where you were –”

“Relax, Marinette.” Kagami untangles Marinette’s chaotic limbs from around her and kisses her on the cheek, relishing the way Marinette’s face turns dark pink and she reaches up to touch her kissed skin with wide blue eyes. Then Kagami turns to Adrien and slides her arms around him, resting her head on his chest, reassuring herself with his steady heartbeat that he’s alive and well. “Ladybug’s cure always fixes the damage.”

“That doesn’t mean I can’t worry!” Marinette says. She jabs a finger at Adrien. “Just like how _you_ always get akumanapped!”

“It’s not like I _want_ them to nab me all the time!” Adrien says. His voice rumbles in his chest as vibrations that make Kagami grin and rub her cheek against his shirt before stepping back. “And Kagami’s right: Ladybug always fixes everything!”

Marinette’s pink face darkens even further until it’s red. “Y-Yeah, I know. But I still worry.”

“No need,” Kagami says, while Adrien pulls out chairs for her and Marinette like the gentleman he is. “It was just a bit of a sticky situation.”

Adrien snorts. “I’d say Lila reached the end of her tether, but she’ll probably get akumatised again next week.”

“Well, her web of lies will end eventually,” Marinette says. “She just needs to learn how to weave them together better.”

Kagami blinks. Okay, it could just be a coincidental pun, but…how had Marinette been close enough to hear what Ladybug and Fukō had said? Kagami had come back straight from the site of the battle, so there’s no way Marinette could have made it back here to the café before her; or at least, not without Kagami running into her. And if she’d been close enough to hear the hero-akuma exchange, Kagami would most definitely have seen her…right?

“Wow,” Adrien says. “You two really sound like…like…”

All three of them freeze. Kagami stares at Marinette, who stares right back at her, while Adrien stares between both of them like he’s spectating a tennis match.

“Oh my god,” all three of them say together. “No way.”

After another few moments of silence, Kagami decides to end this silent standoff definitively.

“I guess we really will have to invite Ladybug to our webbing,” she says. Marinette lets out a high-pitched squeal, so high that every dog in Paris had probably heard it, and – yes, there it is. There’s the Ladybug in her features. Lots of other girls have black hair and blue eyes but none of them…none of them have the same shape to their face, the same light in their eyes, the same brilliant smile from the heavens themselves. How on earth had Kagami never seen it before?

“Well,” Adrien rasps. “I wonder how we’ll slip out of _this_ sticky situation.”


End file.
